Lifestyles Ideas Management – Vulnerable party
When madam See husband died in 2005, her son made her sell their three rooms flat, took the SGD 170,000.00 proceeds from the sale for “safekeeping” and moved with her to a rented apartment. Then her ordeal began.
Her son would give her SGD 10.00 for meals, and the money had to last a week. She lived on bread, rice or a packet of noodle every day. When she complained to a neighbor – who promptly chastised the son – he stopped giving her the SGD 10.00.
The widow now 64 years of age lived on water for nearly a week before calling a medical social worker she had met during a hospital checkup. The hospital treated her and referred her to a Safe Trans, a voluntary welfare organization specializing in elderly people who are abused. At least twice a week an abused older person is referred to this centre. In 2004 abuse cases went up to 100 and 120 and to around 500 now. The profile of those abused are widowed women living with their children are the most common victims. Four in five victims have no education and are unemployed. More than half do not own their own homes. The most common form of abuse is neglect – not being provided with basic needs such as food and medicines or not giving enough money.
This is followed closely by physical abuse which could include battery or even confining the person wrongfully at home. Other kinds of abuse include psychological abuse –including instilling fear – and financial abuse, when money is taken away.
70 percent of abuse is inflicted by children. Daughters-in-law and sons-in-laws make up another 14 percent of the perpetrators. In most cases, strained family relationships form the basis of abuse and since the perpetrators are usually loved ones it may take months before a victim gathers enough courage to lodge a complain.
Madam See for example survived on a near starvation diet for nearly three months before she made the phone call that saved her life. She later approached the Tribunal for the Maintenance of Parents to seek support from her son. By then, her son had taken her money and left for China with his China-born girlfriend to make a new life there.
Madam See trusted her son thinking that her son could never hurt her but she was wrong.
While not all elderly folks are willing to complain against their own flesh and blood. Like my distant uncle who is now 83 years of age who have to live alone in a rented flat shared with another elderly person. My uncle invested all his money and efforts in providing the best education for his two sons and two daughters while they were young.
I remembered he used to visit my mum and shared about how he gave of his best.
But now, his sons and daughters refused to provide a shelter for him under their roof.
I do not understand what went wrong with their relationship as they should have provided him a place in their homes, looking after his meals and needs, how ungrateful is the sons and daughters who forgot the good things that their dad has done for them.
On the other hand, I do understand it is very difficult to live with an elderly person who is so set in their ways and habits. However, no matter what we are responsible for our elderly parent and count it as a blessing to look after their needs. They take care of us when we are young and when they are old, we take care of them.
This is an act of LOVE.
When madam See husband died in 2005, her son made her sell their three rooms flat, took the SGD 170,000.00 proceeds from the sale for “safekeeping” and moved with her to a rented apartment. Then her ordeal began.
Her son would give her SGD 10.00 for meals, and the money had to last a week. She lived on bread, rice or a packet of noodle every day. When she complained to a neighbor – who promptly chastised the son – he stopped giving her the SGD 10.00.
The widow now 64 years of age lived on water for nearly a week before calling a medical social worker she had met during a hospital checkup. The hospital treated her and referred her to a Safe Trans, a voluntary welfare organization specializing in elderly people who are abused. At least twice a week an abused older person is referred to this centre. In 2004 abuse cases went up to 100 and 120 and to around 500 now. The profile of those abused are widowed women living with their children are the most common victims. Four in five victims have no education and are unemployed. More than half do not own their own homes. The most common form of abuse is neglect – not being provided with basic needs such as food and medicines or not giving enough money.
This is followed closely by physical abuse which could include battery or even confining the person wrongfully at home. Other kinds of abuse include psychological abuse –including instilling fear – and financial abuse, when money is taken away.
70 percent of abuse is inflicted by children. Daughters-in-law and sons-in-laws make up another 14 percent of the perpetrators. In most cases, strained family relationships form the basis of abuse and since the perpetrators are usually loved ones it may take months before a victim gathers enough courage to lodge a complain.
Madam See for example survived on a near starvation diet for nearly three months before she made the phone call that saved her life. She later approached the Tribunal for the Maintenance of Parents to seek support from her son. By then, her son had taken her money and left for China with his China-born girlfriend to make a new life there.
Madam See trusted her son thinking that her son could never hurt her but she was wrong.
While not all elderly folks are willing to complain against their own flesh and blood. Like my distant uncle who is now 83 years of age who have to live alone in a rented flat shared with another elderly person. My uncle invested all his money and efforts in providing the best education for his two sons and two daughters while they were young.
I remembered he used to visit my mum and shared about how he gave of his best.
But now, his sons and daughters refused to provide a shelter for him under their roof.
I do not understand what went wrong with their relationship as they should have provided him a place in their homes, looking after his meals and needs, how ungrateful is the sons and daughters who forgot the good things that their dad has done for them.
On the other hand, I do understand it is very difficult to live with an elderly person who is so set in their ways and habits. However, no matter what we are responsible for our elderly parent and count it as a blessing to look after their needs. They take care of us when we are young and when they are old, we take care of them.
This is an act of LOVE.
.JPG)
